


House of Dark

by WastelandHunter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood, Complicated Relationships, Concerned Sam, Confused Dean, Dark, Emotional Roller Coaster, Exorcisms, F/M, Guilt, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Lies, Memory Loss, Plotbunnies, Possession, Protective Sam Winchester, Revenge, Season/Series 11, Sexual Tension, Stockholm Syndrome, Stubborn Dean, Wounds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-01 14:18:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5209037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WastelandHunter/pseuds/WastelandHunter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're in danger and you seek help from the Winchesters. The problem is you're not human anymore and they hunt things like you, even if they're not sure what kind of thing you're supposed to be.</p><p>Takes place during season 11.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. VHS (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry. First fic, first time writing this much in english, first time writing something Supernatural. Ugh. Sorry.

You were in front of the TV screen after finding a VHS player in one of the overfilled rooms of the bunker, you had took it to your bedroom and connected it to your tube TV.

Things weren't so bad right now, you had your space, more than you could think you'll own a couple of months back, and you liked something about this outdated room you've been used to call your own. Frozen in time, like an old hotel from some mystery book, like the images you were seeing in front of yourself.

That was you, smiling at the camera, VHS playing like a long lost dream. Young woman of twenty-something, worried about stupid things, thinking about what to do next, not knowing that would never be an option.

The door was open when you sat on the room floor, the girl in the TV sure would care about privacy, now it wasn't much of a problem anymore, and you didn't move when the shape of the tallest brother stepped into your lair.

“What's that?” He said a little intrigued.

You knew he recognized the girl, things had changed, you weren't even human right now, but your looks weren't that different.

“VHS I found in my last trip. I wanted to remember how it was to be... normal.”

He frowned and made a sound with his tongue, and you looked at him.

“Please, don't look at me with that sadness in your eyes. I don't like it, I don't like you to feel pity for me.”

“I feel no pity.”

“Yeah, you're.” Your eyes flickered black while looking at him, and then went normal again. He didn't like seeing you do that, and he knew you controlled it now, that you recently found the key to do it at will. “I know you are. At least some of the time, and now it's one of those times.”

“Ok.” He mumbled. “So... you getting something at watching that?”

“Memories. Like from another lifetime I won't get back.”

“You shouldn't punish yourself...”

“Ohhh... but I don't. “ You stop him. “I know it's sad, but I don't. I just don't get to feel it.” You pause for a second. “Sam, was not having a soul the same as having -this-?”

He thought for a moment, surprised by your question.

“I'm starting to believe it's not even similar.” He said.

“And that's what you and your brother fear the most about me.”

You turn yourself back to the TV, his face still on your retinas. The girl is talking and sometimes smiling, it's not even a good video, it doesn't show much things about you... about -her-. You really don't care much about it anymore, and without giving it more thoughts you press STOP.

He moves startled and that decision, you know that without even looking at him. You turn around and still sitting on the floor with crossed legs, you face him. He looks at you, questions in his eyes.

“Why...”

You don't let him finish.

“It was going nowhere. I'm not sure why I got that much trouble for that video.”

He runs his fingers through his hair and looks away for a moment.

“Y/N, why do you left in such a rush, without telling nothing, if it wasn't important?”

“Don't say you were worried.” You half smiled. “I'm sure Dean wasn't...”

“I can't talk for Dean, but if you're living here, you shouldn't leave that way, at least leave a note, say you're going for a trip, say you're coming back. Something.”

“Now -that- I don't get. So you were worried, but, was it for me leaving, or was it for where I could had gone, it's beyond me. I'm sure Dean was afraid I had gone play with the enemy, I saw it in his eyes when I got back. But you...” You look right into his eyes, you can see he's grateful you don't bring the full black ones this time, that you're trying to understand with your own eyes. “I can't read you that well.” You finish.

And Sam gets that feeling back, his gut telling him something is not right. Telling him you keep hiding something from him, as Dean is. So he goes for it and says the first thing that comes to his mind.

“It may be we don't share the same bound you and Dean share.”

And you know what he's implying. He gets on his feet and you look at that tower of a man from your sit on the floor.

“It's not that...” You manage to say, but he looks and you stop talking.

“I'm not stupid, I knew it from the first time I saw you in that ditch. Even if you and Dean keep trying to deny it. He knows I'll get to it eventually, you may as well know I will.”

He starts walking to the door and pause for a moment.

“My brother and I tend to start always playing with secrets even when we promise will never do that again.” He says without looking back at you. “We're the best players of that game, we kid ourselves thinking it's for the best, but it only goes worse after it all falls down. And this time you're part of it.” For a second he turns his head a bit and look through the corner of his eye. “And I definitely know, this time will be as bad as ever.”

And he walks away. You keep looking at the space he left in the doorway, his words echoing in your ears. _This time you're part of it. And it will be as bad as ever._

 


	2. Two months back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. First fic, first time writing this much in english, first time writing something Supernatural. Ugh. Sorry.

You were lying in a ditch, and it were mere two minutes ago when you regained consciousness. First it was the soil in your hands what made you feel uncomfortable, then the cold wind started to cut through your clothes and make you shiver, and finally the cut on your forehead bleeding over your left eye.

 

You didn't remember how you got there, the last memory you have it's that of a couple demons watching over the room you've been assigned to.

 

While the blood started to cover your eye, making you to close it, you felt at peace, you could die right now, but at least all the suffering would be over, even better, the emptiness would cease. A smile appeared on your face, and you didn't notice the rushed steps coming over you. It didn't matter anymore, you will finally be free soon enough.

 

The person in front of you start shaking you, trying to take you back to the land of the living. Words went out of his mouth but you didn't bother to understand them, and you kept looking at the sky, left eye blurred red and smiling like a total loony.

 

But then something kicked you in the back of your brain, something than went dormant after leaving you in that ditch.

 

“Listen up girl, I'm as tired as you are, but I didn't take your sorry ass to this dirty hole so you die few feet from the finish line. He's here, say your words, now it's your turn to make this work. Wake up!”

 

And the voice was gone, and another voice appeared, that of the man trying to revive you. You noticed air entering your lungs, forcing its way through your throat, but it was warmer than the morning air surrounding you. That moment was when you felt hurry lips over your mouth, and this time you breathe deeply and your body starts to work again, coughing your way to the earth, even if that meant more pain, suffering, and cold... so much cold.

 

“Hey, are you with me? Are you ok?” The voice says. And even when you didn't saw him ever in your life, you recognize him, something were really familiar about him. Maybe he was who she made you dream about, over and over.

 

“Are you... are you Dean Winchester?” Your voice was like a fine thread still tied to your thoughts.

 

The man paused for a moment but not giving it more thoughts he picked you up.

 

“No, I'm his brother. You need help.”

 

“He said he could help.” You reply confused.

 

“Dean talked to you? Did he know you were coming?”

 

“No. Dean. The voice. Darkness. She can't find us.”

 

He took you to what it seems your wished destination, no other word said all the way through the main entrance, the halls and the big rooms inside that monster place. The room he made you lie in was all white, walls and bed sheets that soon turned red from your wounds. He left you there and walked away, at that moment it really didn't matter to you where he was gone, because the cold was gone too.

 

“What're you doin'?” It was another voice, husky and too loud for you to bear.

 

“Gathering supplies, we have a guest.” Sam's voice replied.

 

“A guest? What you talkin' about?”

 

Steps went close again but you didn't bothered looking at the one standing at the door.

 

“Who are you?” No reply, you weren't talking, only your pain could do that right now. “Sam! Who's this?” He shouted.

 

“You tell me. She asked for you.” The man who found you walked into the room and started cleaning the wound on your forehead. “Are you telling me you don't know her?”

 

“Not a clue.” His voice was deep, deeper than Sam's. You start to notice some changes in his tone. “How did she get here?”

 

“I was going for a run and I found her near the front door. She was almost pass out, I thought she was dead 'till I saw her moving in the ground.” Sam stopped patching your wound and looked away from you, to face the other man. “She asked for you. Literally asked for Dean Winchester.”

 

“So you thought I knew her?”

 

Sam looked at Dean with an – are you serious - expression on his face. “What do you think? She asked for help, said something like – you said you could help -”.

 

“Well, that's for sure impossible, I don't know her.”

 

“I can see that now. But she's hurt.” He turns to you and start to remove torn and dirty clothes, until he sees all the scars on your body, one of them especially calling his attention. “This is not good.” He growl.

 

Dean walks near the bed, only a white tank top covering you. And he sees the mark. It was placed on your chest, but it couldn't be the real one, the real mark, the one he saw in The Darkness' chest was the same wound he had in his arm for a long time. This one was just simple scar tissue, scratched in your skin, probably using some inadequate tools. This was just a scar long time done, by a shaking hand over human skin.

 

“This makes no sense, that's the mark, but, it's not the real one.” Dean said looking at it.

 

You felt one finger touching your skin, following the scar lines in a gentle move. You open your eyes and see Sam over you, his fingertips still making contact.

 

“It's like it was carved.”

 

“Looking in a mirror.” You finally say. The two men look at you, questions all over their faces. “I'm not her.”

 

“Her.” Dean says. “You know -Her-.” Cautious, he didn't want to talk too much.

 

“I've spent too much time with her. That's why I...” And at that moment you see fear in Dean's eyes. He didn't want you to finish that sentence.

 

“That's why you knew about Dean?” Sam voice made Dean look away, and you knew he didn't want you to say another word about her.

 

“Demons.” You reply. “Demons talk, they think I'm unconscious, but sometimes I'm not. I heard a name, I found a way to look for help.”

 

He wasn't looking at you but he starts talking somehow a bit suspicious.

 

“Are you saying demons got you, also, that you've spent time with her, and you managed to escape? You think we're dumb?”

 

“I don't know.” You reply. “Amara needs to feed, I'm there for that. I didn't want to die. That's the only thing I know.”

 

“How did you escape?”

 

Sam voice was gentle and that was something you liked. But at that moment the voice in your head shouts something in your brain. It was in pain, it wasn't coherent, you liked his gentleness when healing you, the voice made you cringe. -How did I escape?- Pain, suffering, emptiness. Your eyes flicker to black and you look at Sam, you weren't in control anymore, you didn't move but they did. He left his sit on the bed and Dean grabbed a gun pointing it at you.

 

“Good job, Sammy, you've bought a demon to the bunker.” He says in anger.

 

Sam looks surprised, betrayed, and you tried to grab control over yourself. You shake your head and blink. You make your eyes normal again, that should do it, right? But that wasn't enough.

 

“Grab her, we're gonna take her downstairs.”

 

“I'm not a demon.” You say while Sam took you from the bed. You were too weak to be some kind of threat for them right now, and that much they knew.

 

“Yeah, right.” Dean said.

 

And you felt anger emanate from him, he didn't like to get tricked. And the other man, he didn't like to be betrayed, you felt deception pass from his body to yours.

 

“I'm not.” You mumble, but you aren't sure they could hear you.

 

 


	3. One month and 24 days back

Lately you've been feeling better, it could be the demon inside you had been slowly healing your body, or it could be the food and the meds Sam Winchester had been giving you. You couldn't tell, because even when feeling a little better, your body and your mind were just a big ugly mess, and sitting in a chair in the middle of a room, handcuffs around your wrists and all strange symbols painted all over the place, aren't helping.

 

“Thanks for the food.” You say when you notice some movement in the room.

 

“I thought you were asleep.” Sam says stepping out of the shadows.

 

“I was, you waked me.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Don't be sorry, waking up isn't the worst of this scenario.” You said trying to adjust your hands again and feeling pain all over your arms.

 

Sam takes a few steps towards you and looks you in the eye. You maintain his glance and notice he somehow feels sorry about this.

 

“Could I have more painkillers?” You ask taking him by surprise.

 

For a second he looks confused, but reaches into a pocket and gets a pill out of a plastic bottle. He doesn't say anything, just grabs a bottle of water and goes to your side. You open your mouth to let him put the pill on your tongue, then he brings the bottle to your lips and you drink avidly. Water runs through your chin and it feels refreshing.

 

“Sorry. Let me clean you.” And he cleans you, using a napkin he absorbs the water and then he looks again at you, like if you were a rare specimen of a freak show.

 

“Thanks.” You say hoping he stops looking that way at you.

 

Moments pass and he doesn't leave the room. He's the only one who's been down there since they moved you from the white room. Some days ago you listened both men arguing about you, it seems Dean doesn't want anything to do with the problem, because Sam made the mistake and now he has to deal with it. From that, you get that -you are- the problem, Sam made the mistake of -saving your life- and now Sam has to decide what to do with you. You can't help but feel disappointed by Dean, even if that doesn't make any sense and you know those feelings aren't really yours.

 

“How are you today?” Sam asks, making you snap from your thoughts.

 

“Better. It's any chance I can get the handcuffs off? Or get out of this chair?”

 

“Sorry. I...” He looks you in shame.

 

“Dean doesn't want you to do that. I understand.”

 

But you don't understand, you've been explaining everything again and again. You're not sure why they don't believe you, but in reality this is all new for you, so maybe this is how it works and it's ok for you to don't understand it.

“Are you going to kill me?”

 

“What?” He's surprised. “Hell, no. No...” At least not for now, it's what he's thinking, and that makes him feel disgusted with himself. “Oh, God. This is stupid.”

 

He moves towards you again, grabs some keys and starts opening the handcuffs.

 

“What are you doing? I thought...” You say shocked.

 

“We're going to talk. We're going to talk like real people talk. I'm not going to have another conversation with you, like this.”

 

You are free from the handcuffs, it hurts you to move your hands normally and while trying to regain some movement you see him sitting by a table at one side of the room. You stand up and take a step towards him, but something prevents you for stepping outside the symbols. You look shocked but then you remember.

 

“I'm going to regret this.” He says while getting a knife and scratching a bit of paint off the floor.

While you start walking again, you promise yourself he's not going to regret it. He helps you going to the other chair near the table and he sits near you.

 

“Thank you. I... I don't know what to say. Thank you.” You mumble puzzled.

 

“Don't thank me. The moment I leave this room, I gonna put you again in that chair, again with that handcuffs.”

 

“I now. But... This means a lot. I understand what you have to do.”

 

“But do you? Listen, there are many things I really don't understand about you right now, but I'm pretty sure you don't understand anything about what's happening.”

 

He's right, you don't and you're not even sure you want to.

 

“Can you tell me again, everything, from the beginning?” Sam asks you, like all the times he asked you before, and this time you do the same, you tell everything you remember, hoping that repeating the same scene again and again would lead to a different ending.

 

“I don't remember much before I got my consciousness back at that place with the demons. One day I got up from like what seemed a dream, and I woke into a nightmare. A voice inside my head was telling me he was too tired, he couldn't control everything from that moment on, and he was giving me some control again. He said to me -Listen, girl, we're gonna play this thing together. When I'm not around don't say anything, don't let them know you're free. If you do this, I will keep healing you when she feeds on us. But the most important thing, don't trust her lies. She may look like a little kid, but she's not, she has a dirtier mind than mine. She's not your friend, she only likes you because I'm inside you, and because we last longer, and we are tastier. Keep your mind in control, don't think about anything when she does her thing, and the most important thing, don't fall into her dreams.”

 

“And you remember that word for word?” Sam said again, like many times before.

 

“Yes, he said that to me every time he let me control my body.”

 

“Keep going.”

 

“Since that moment I understood I was possessed by something, I got memories of the times he took control, and I did everything he asked me to. That kept us alive. I understood he was healing himself when he went away, and he healed me when he went back. Much of the times she fed on us, he was the one in charge, he was afraid she noticed the change. But the last time Amara call us, she was changed, she was older, still a girl but she was older. That time we went on the verge of dying, and I knew we wouldn't last much longer, because I felt real fear in him. He disappeared without telling me anything, and that made me really, really, afraid. It was over two days before he appeared again, I feared Amara came to me being alone like that, and when he appeared I felt relieve, but it didn't last long. He was as afraid as me. That was the moment he told me about the Winchesters. About why you were our only hope. He had been planning it for those two days, we'll escape and he will bring me here, and you will help us.”

 

“That's what I don't understand.” Sam said rubbing his forehead. “You say a demon is inside you, and he asked for our help. We kill demons, and he knows that, what help would he want from us.”

 

“He said...” And that's the first time you got into that part without screaming and asking for mercy, or asking them to kill you and finish it all. Maybe it was because you felt safer right now, not being treated like a threat, or because your healing process was taking effect. “He said he was too weak to leave my body, that he accepted for you to exorcise him, if you promised to finish Amara and Crowley.”

 

Sam eyes went wide open. A demon came to them to get an exorcism only so he can get revenge over his King and an ancient evil? But how could they do that? The were still trying to figure out what Amara was, and killing her wasn't going to be easy, that much they knew. And Crowley, that bastard always knew how to save himself even at the expense of others.

 

“Are you telling is that easy? The demon inside you only want to be exorcised, leave you free?”

 

You nod, asking for him to believe you and take action once and for all.

 

“And you believe him?” He asked doubtfully.

 

“Sam... I... Look, I've never been possessed by a demon, or by anything. Gosh, I didn't know you can be possessed, I don't believe in any of those things. Demons were like fairy tales to me, and now I can feel this one. I know he took control of my body for a long time, I'm not even sure why or what he did to me, but since he woke me up, I've known everything he knows, and I know he won't survive outside my body, but I maybe will survive without him. He knows you wouldn't accept to work with him, so he sent me, fully conscious. He rather die to you and get his revenge, than die to them.

 

“But, how he knows he will get his revenge?” Sam wasn't buying all that martyrdom thing from a demon.

 

“Because as much as I know what he feels, he knows what I feel too. And he knows I hate him for taking my body, but that's not even near as how much I hate Crowley and Amara. I want them dead, and I won't stop until they are.” Your last words are filled with so much hate it's the first time Sam feels other than betrayal and pity for you. This could work, this could help them, they only need to help you first. He needs to talk to Dean, reason with him, and sometimes that has been proven to be as difficult as saving the world from an apocalypse.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to name the demon inside the reader, so I thought you reader could help me. I think I have some plans for him in the future, so I'm not looking right now for a big demon name. So, please, comment with a name not used in the show already, and I'll choose one.  
> Thanks!


	4. One month and 22 days back

He spent the next day thinking about you and about what you told him. Then, he started researching information about demonic possessions, exorcisms, and everything he already knew, hoping to find something that explained why that situation was different and why it didn't entail no danger. But if Amara had been feeding on you, that altered everything on the equation, and an exorcism was already something dangerous.

“What you doin'?” Dean's voice appeared behind him looking over the books opened on the table.

“Research.” That's the only reply Sam gave him.

“I thought we already mastered demonic possessions and exorcisms.” Dean opens a beer and sits on one of the chairs, his feet on the table.

“Do you mind?” Sam grabs a paper under Dean's feet tearing it in the process. He growls.

“Sorry. Man, you're angry.”

“I'm not angry, but it seems I'm the only one concerned about the situation we have here.”

“Situation? A demon in the basement is not news in this house”. Dean says casually.

Sam moves his head and looks over some book without really reading anything. He doesn't want to start the same conversation again, at least not until he knows something Dean would accept.

“Listen, I understand, she's cute, but, we can't start again with that - befriending a demon - thing.” Dean takes a sip from his beer, and Sam looks at him, not believing what his brother had just said.

“Really? Are you bringing that shit back? You? Crowley's best mate for life?” Sam clenches his jaw looking at him.

Dean looks at him. “We can start fighting again, that won't change the situation.”

“What situation? The one in which we have a woman tied up in a dark room?”

“A demon tied up in a dark room. A demon.” Dean clarifies.

“Ok. That's enough. I've been talking to her long enough to know the difference and...”

Dean doesn't let he continue. “That's the problem, you've been talking to her too much. Demons are really some nasty bastards and will say anything you want to hear for them to get what they want.”

“Yeah, and you know it first hand.” Sam says making Dean angry.

“In fact, I do, yes. Now, stop feeling guilty about her, she's not our problem.”

“Not our problem? An innocent seeks help and it's not our problem. So suddenly the family business has changed. Is that? Or is something about her you don't like? Maybe that Darkness thing? Or maybe, you know, maybe it's the scar on her chest. It may be carved backwards, but it's clearly the Mark of Cain, and I saw the way you looked at it when we found her.”

“Let's be serious here” Dean says, swallowing his drink, trying to change the subject. “A girl appears, demon inside, telling us Amara has been feeding on her, but she lived. You telling' me you believe her? We've seen what Amara does to humans, she eats souls, even if she's possessed, what would it last, two meals? Her soul and the demon's essence. But she's still alive, she escaped and got here. That's just not possible.”

“Well, maybe it is. She's down there, you go talk to her and see if that's possible.”

“Oh, well, maybe I will!” But Dean doesn't move from his chair, and Sam knows he doesn't want to go see her, that will make it real, and maybe the possibility they're holding capture an innocent, will become real too.

“Listen, Dean, I've been thinking about all this. I'm the first one here to see it's really weird, something is not right when a soul eating monster can't do what it does best. I get that, but, there must be a reason, and in no way doing nothing will help. The demon inside her is too weak.”

“Yeah? How do you know that?” Dean asks suspiciously.

“Because she's only healing thanks to the medication I'm giving her. And she needs to eat.”

“She may be faking it.”

“She's not, ok? She needs food, she needs time to heal, she has human necessities.”

“Wait a minute. Are you saying... Are you taking her to the bathroom?”

“Oh my God.” Sam rubs his hands through his face. “No, Dean, I'm just letting her go to the bathroom.”

“No, ok, I don't care what you do, or how you do, I... You're saying you removed part of the devil's trap?”

“And I took her handcuffs off too, and what if I did? She hasn't done anything while being free. She could escape, she didn't, not even the demon did anything. You know what? I don't care!” Sam closes the book in front of him and stands up.

“Where are you going?” Dean asks looking at Sam with anger.

“I'm going to perform an exorcism.”

“No, you're not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You don't know what could happen.” Dean gets up and runs toward his brother grabbing his arm. “It could be a trap. Maybe the demon needs to be freed for the Darkness to find us or...”

“If that was the case, she already did, Y/N got here with that demon's help, remember?”

“But...”

“Worst case scenario, Y/N dies during the exorcism, and the demon with her. But she could live and she can help us. She's the only one that has been with that thing.”

And maybe that's what I fear... “Ok” Dean says. “Let me talk to her first.”

“You serious?” Sam asks surprised.

“You saying her name's Y/N?”

“Yeah.” Sam looks at his brother walking away.

“Let's talk with your new girlfriend.”

“She's not.” Sam argues, but Dean's already too far away to hear him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to name the demon inside the reader, so I thought you reader could help me. I think I have some plans for him in the future, so I'm not looking right now for a big demon name. So, please, comment with a name not used in the show already, and I'll choose one.  
> Thanks!


	5. One month and 21 days back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally goes talk with you and it seems you're the only one who finds funny repeating the words "Stockholm Syndrome" in your head.

12:00 a.m. It's a new day in your life, and right now your life is not something you're happy with.

12:01 a.m. Sam was here long time ago, he left but he didn't came back. You're a bit hungry.

12:02 a.m. Why is he so nice to you? The words - Stockholm Syndrome - are again playing a part on your thoughts. You keep repeating yourself they have to be cautious, you're possessed.

12:03 a.m. Fuck that! Ivan has disappeared for too many days. You're not even sure you're possessed anymore.

12:04 a.m. Are they holding me capture? What are they going to do to me?

12:05 a.m. Fuck him! Fuck Sam. Fuck Dean. Fuck Ivan.

12:06 a.m. Fuck all of them!

12:07 a.m. Why isn't he back? I miss him. He's nice.

12:08 a.m. Stockholm Syndrome.

“Maybe... I was never possessed...”

12:09 a.m.

12:10 a.m.

12:11 a.m.

12:12 a.m.

Acid drops run through your arms, alarmed you start moving, shaking your body in panic, confused and afraid. You look at him fearfully, Dean's face without expression.

“Why?” You ask.

“You were asking yourself if you were possessed when I got here some minutes ago. So I threw holy water over your arms to prove a point.”

“You wanted to prove a point? To prove you're in command?” You say with resentment.

He shakes his head. “To prove you're a demon. And to prove Sam's wrong.”

“Where's he?” You ask promptly. - I miss him. - You think again.

“Not a clue. I'm not his shadow.” Dean says casually.

You start laughing, it sounds like you're losing it.

“What's so funny?” He asks.

“Some words keep popping in my head.” You keep laughing, your stomach is starting to hurt.

“I'll bite. Which words?”

“Stockholm Syndrome.” You laugh again but then your face goes dead serious. “Why are you here? You never come here. You don't want to see me.” You're trying to make him feel guilty, to upset him.

“I thought Sam had it under control.” He comes closer, and you start breathing faster with every step he takes. “I was wrong.” Dean takes the fabric of your tank top and moves it to see the scars. Your body stiffens. “Who did this to you?”

“I did.” You say. Your heart beating faster when Dean touches your skin. “Ivan made me do it.”

“Ivan?” He asks looking at your eyes.

“The demon. He was angry, he was losing it, he made me do it.” You say, looking directly to his eyes.

He takes his hand away from your skin and moves around you. Why are you acting this way? You've only seen this man once before today. Why are you so nervous, why is your heart rate increasing. Why do you crave for him to keep touching you?

“Does Sam know Amara has the Mark of Cain? Did you tell him?” Dean's question falls over yourself like a sack of bricks.

“That's why...” You tell yourself. Dean looks at you, waiting for your reply. “No, I haven't told him anything about that.”

“Did he ask?”

“Sometimes.”

“Will you tell him?” And that sounds like a warning to you, like the look he gave you in the white room, and now you're sure what happens, and what you have to say.

“No, I will not tell him.” 

Dean locks his eyes with yours, trying to figure out if your promise is worth something, if there's some human still in you to keep it, if you're not playing with him. And you know you aren't, the same way you know these feelings you have for Dean are not yours, because you were too weak and fell into her dreams. You couldn't manage to do what Ivan ordered you to do, for your own good, and now you're making promises you aren't sure you can keep.

“I know you don't like me, I know I...”

But he rises a hand and you stop talking. He walks directly to the door and then he stops, but he doesn't look back at you.

“Sam's going to exorcise that demon inside you. Just remember you made a promise.” And he walks away, leaving you confused and concerned. Filled with feelings that weren't yours, but hurt like you couldn't imagine.


	6. Exorcism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys take action, and talk directly with the demon inside you.

It wasn't until 7 in the morning that Sam appeared in the room. Without a word he starts to arrange some stuff over a table. You move on your chair and he turns his head towards you.

 

“You're awake.” He comes near you.

 

“Yes, it wasn't a good night.” The injuries made by the holy water Dean spilled over your arms haven't healed in any way.

 

“You need something?” Sam touches your forehead. “You're burning up.”

 

You shake your head. “Dean told me what you're going to do.”

 

He nods. “I'm preparing some stuff I might need. I'm not sure what you'll need after all it's over. Some times the demon is healing wounds and after it's gone, the human ends...”

 

“Dying?” You say and Sam frowns and returns to the table. “I don't think I have any major injury, and you've been taking good care of me.”

 

“Not good enough.” He replies, telling himself this should had been done sooner. “Anyway, right now it's not the demon the one that worries me. It's what Amara did to you, and we clearly don't really know what's exactly what she did.”

 

“Hey.” You call him, but he keeps organizing things on the table. “Sam, listen. Whatever happens after this, I'm grateful to you. Even if it doesn't work, you already saved me.”

 

Sam stops and looks down, still not facing you. “No, don't say that.”

 

“I was as well as dead being in that place. You found me almost dead by that road, you sav...”

 

“Don't.” He stops, and you stop talking too. “I haven't save anybody by keeping a... person tied up in a room.”

 

“We had no choice and you know it.” Dean appears at the door.

 

“Don't talk me about choices, this should have been done lot sooner.” Sam faces Dean, anger in his voice.

 

“We've talked about this before. This time it wasn't that simple.” Dean seems tired, like a lot had happened after his visit last night.

 

“It was. Now, shut up, Dean.” He picks a book from the table and walks in front of you. Dean gets inside the room, closing the door behind him. And he waits, standing by a wall, hand ready to pull out a bright silver kind of blade you've never seen before.

 

“What do you need a book for? We know the ritual by heart.” Dean mumbles.

 

“What part of -shut up, Dean- didn't you understand?” Sam closes the book.

 

“I'm just saying.” Dean shrugs.

 

Sam, frowning, his lips pressed together, looks at a black spot in the wall, and then back at you. He starts reciting it, book closed, but marking a page with his index finger.

 

_"Exorcizamus te,_

_omnis immundus spiritus,_

_omnis satanica potestas,_

_omnis incursio infernalis adversarii”_

 

Something inside you starts moving, like a rabid dog biting all your insides. You start moving on your chair, trying to remove your handcuffs, trying to get free.

 

“ _omnis legio,_

_omnis congregatio et secta diabolica._

_Ergo, omnis legio diabolica,_

_adjuramus te...”_

 

Something changes inside you, and your eyes go black, you lost all kind of control over your body. Ivan is in control now.

 

“Alright boys, at last you're doing something useful.” Your voice sounds wicked, and Sam knows you're gone by this point. He has to put aside all the mixed feelings, and do a good job.

 

“ _cessa decipere humanas creaturas”_

 

“Wait!” You say, but it's not really you. “Don't you want to talk with me before killing her savior?” Ivan keeps talking but Sam doesn't stop.

 

“ _eisque æternæ perditionìs_

_venenum propinare...”_

 

Without trying to speak anymore, Ivan fractures your thumb and gets one hand off the handcuffs. He's taking advantage of your shattered body and is able to bypass some of the power the devil's trap still has in him. He makes you raise your arm, your thumb in a weird position and he push Sam over a wall, keeping him trapped, few feet over the ground.

 

“I told you this wouldn't work.” Dean grabs the blade but before he can do anything, you are keeping him the same way as his brother.

 

“I just want to talk.” You hear yourself saying, but you can't do anything to stop all your actions. “Before everything is over.” Your body walks across the devil's trap and you are placed in front of the brothers. “Then, you can finish the ritual.” You say, your face close enough to Sam's. He tries to move, his book still on his hand, but you don't let him, instead, you smell him and smile after doing it. “Listen here, all that Y/N told you, it's true. We came here for you to kill me.”

 

“That's it?” Sam says, facing you, reminding himself for the first time in days that a monster is in front of him. “And why don't you let me finish?”

 

“Because I want to talk first. Are you going to deny the final wish of a condemned soul?”

 

“You got no soul. You filthy bitch!” Dean says with anger. You look at him, without leaving Sam's side.

 

“On the contrary, because your friend Amara was too kind, or maybe to silly to understand this new world of hers, that she made... how do I say it? A wonderful mistake? But she's still a child, and a child can't know it all. Right?”

 

“Stop with all the talking. Aren't you done already?” Sam says, anger in his voice.

 

“You've been always a hasty person. Don't you? Haven't you learn to take things a little slowly?” Ivan hears Dean shout a laugh. “You're worst than him, so don't laugh at his errors.”

 

“A demon won't tell me when I can or cannot laugh, and let alone you. Not after proving me I was right.” Dean talks back.

 

“Oh, but you weren't right. It was here, good boy Sammy, who was right. At least with the information he had.”

 

“What didn't you told us?” Sam asks angry.

 

“Me? First of all, I haven't told you anything yet, it was all Y/N, she's been a darling all this time. Second of all, she hasn't lie you not one time since she met you, boys. And third... I can know everything she knows, but sadly, I hold back some tiny bits of information from her.” Your face make an expression of surprise. “I've been a bad demon, what can you expect from me?”

 

“You son of a bitch.” Sam shouts and the demon hold him tighter.

 

“Although... and this is a big although, I'm dying, and this time I'm too twisted, in the bad sense of the word, to get myself some insurance. So, it's weird, but, after all these years I finally feel like a father, isn't that ironic?. And the feeling of her being the only thing that will be left of me, it's overwhelming. But then again, could be all the turmoil inside her that's making me soft.” Your body moves and let the Winchesters fall on the floor, but still unable to move.

 

“Anyway, let's stop with this old man gibberish. She has told you everything she knows, once I'm gone, she will possibly regain more memories that could help you in killing that Crowley bastard.” The words sound bitter on your lips, Ivan really hates the King of Hell. “If Amara doesn't do it before. In that case, Amara will be too powerful and I doubt you will be able to kill her. But, I will not care anymore. On the other hand, Y/N will do. So, be good boys for once in your life, and kill the monsters that have been torturing my child this way.”

 

Dean moves in his sit and you remove the blade from his hand. Your hand shakes it's finger in his direction. “No, no. We don't want you to do her more harm, once I'm gone. Isn't that right, Dean?” And the demon shows the marks of holy water Dean left over Y/N arms, to Sam. “I think Sam supports me on this.”

 

“Are you finished yet? You're gettin' boring!” Dean growls, knowing Sam will be angry with him for hurting you.

 

“I guess so.” The demon says. “But before I let you finish the ritual I still have something to let you know that Y/N didn't know. She's different, she never was a normal human being to begin with.” The demon smiles, he isn't going to explain himself. “And Crowley made a mistake forcing some of his demons inside here, without knowing I was already in there. From there it all went down hill. And sadly for you, but a great achievement for me, after you finish the exorcism, she will be not human anymore. But, isn't it nice for you to gain a new frenemy? Take care of her, or help me Lucifer, you both will regret any harm you keep doing to her.”

The demon drops all his power on the brothers and Sam doesn't wait a moment to continue reciting the ritual. This time faster, angrier and louder.

 

“ _Vade, satana,_

_inventor et magister omnis fallaciæ,_

_hostis humanæ salutis.._

_Humiliare sub potenti manu Dei;”_

 

Your body falls to the floor, moving like bones had dissipated from your body like you were a mere rag doll.

 

“ _contremisce et effuge,_

_invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine..._

_quem inferi tremunt..._

_Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine.”_

 

With his last breath, the demon looks at Sam and smiles.

 

“It's a pleasure you are the one doing this. A delight how this will finally end.” The demon smiles.

 

“ _Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi_

_facias libertate servire”_

 

“Almost like a Shakespearean tragedy.”

 

“ _te rogamus, audi nos.”_

 

And your body falls down. Black smoke coming out of your mouth and dying on the floor. Sam drops the book he was holding, revealing he were hiding a small plastic bag the whole time. He puts the content on his other hand and leans over you, blowing the stuff in your face while he recites:

 

_"bah rah gah doh"_

 

And you fall asleep. Your face peacefully gone to rest.

 

“That's why you hold the book the entire time.” Dean states, getting near the both of you.

 

“I couldn't be sure of the extension of the damage after the ritual. It's stupid, but she could felt unsafe, and the demon could think we wanted to hurt her after putting her asleep.”

 

“You think a pinch of chamomile would annoy a demon that knew would end up killed?” Dean asks doubtfully.

 

“A demon that seemed to care this much for this woman? I used a sleep spell to make her rest while we figure our next move. That bastard could had thought we were going to hurt her for not being fully human, or God knows what. That thing was quite psychotic to start with, I didn't want to give it a reason to change his mind and decide he preferred for her to die with him instead of leaving her with us.” Sam was already moving you. You had some cuts, the scars on your chest were bleeding a little, the same as the wounds made with the holy water Dean threw at you. And you will need bandages for that broken thumb.

 

“And how did you know it cared for her that much?” Dean asks, looking at what his brother is doing.

 

“I spent time talking with her. I tried to figure out the nature of the demon, and it seems I got some things right.” Sam takes you in his arms and starts taking you to another room. “You know, learning the differences. Not throwing holy water that acts like acid, over a person who seems can't heal herself.”

 

“Listen, I'm sorry, ok? How could I imagine all that – she's not a normal human anymore – thing?”

 

“I don't know, talking to her? Listening to me?”

 

“You tellin' me you knew that too?” Changing subjects were Dean's favorite way to reply.

 

“I figured out something were off with her. That didn't mean she was a monster.” Sam walks trough the hallway, followed by his brother.

 

“And what do you think she's now?” Dean follows his brother into a room.

 

“I think...” Sam lies you on a bed while thinking of an answer. He looks at you, you seem serene, human, peacefully asleep. “I think she may be in some kind of altered state.”

 


	7. 20 days back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get back from a hunting trip, finding out you're awake.
> 
> Takes place after episode S11 Ep4 'Baby'.
> 
> \--------------  
> You can get InteractiveFics Chrome extention, to replace "Y/N" with any name you want! <http://silencethroughwords.tumblr.com/readerinsert/>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the misspellings, my mother tongue is not English ( *∵* )

You've been living with the boys for over a month already, but wasn't until one week ago since you've been fully conscious about that fact. Your wounds healed at a normal pace, that was a point in your favor on getting Dean's trust, but while nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, something was keeping you unconscious.

 

After a few days, Sam was already walking down the path of guilt, he knew the spell he put you under wasn't dangerous, and it was easy, and he did it correctly, he just couldn't understand why you wouldn't wake up. But days passed, and then weeks, work had to be done, friends had to be helped and one day, like any other day, you woke up.

 

Nothing was done for that to happen, you just woke up and found out the Winchesters weren't even there. In the bunker only another soul were left, you didn't knew him, but he seemed far more injured than you, although you couldn't appreciate nothing wrong with him, physically speaking. When you first saw him, he was looking over you, you froze at his gaze, distant and lost, and after a pause he just mumbled a “I'm a friend. They'll be back soon.”, and then, he left.

 

After a moment of panic, you tried to calm yourself. You didn't remember much about anything, but you weren't tied up, and you felt pretty good, except for the dizziness caused by the lack of eating solid food. Then was when you noticed a needle in your arm, this really was like a hospital room... you didn't understand much of what happened, or how much time you've been in that room, but after removing the needle and getting back on foot, a twinge in your stomach told you that maybe it were too long.

 

Days passed, you were absolutely free to roam the bunker, except for some of the few closed rooms, and the main entrance being shut down. You didn't saw much about that dark haired guy over the days, he may appear at a moment, and instantly walk away with a really worn out look all over his face. You felt somewhat uneasy about him, but he wasn't a demon, that much you could tell, and you were free to do whatever you wanted to do, and that was a really big improvement over the time you spent on that demon's lair.

 

Everything was smooth, all calm and silence surrounding you. You found some CD's and cassette tapes on a room and that helped to make you feel less alone. You prepared food, read books, listened to music, and watched some TV. This was already looking like a really weird vacation resort you were forced to enjoy, some alone time was ok, but this was somehow ridiculous.

 

You are drinking black coffee and eating pancakes one morning, listening to a Guns N' Roses album at full volume when you hear a door closing and steps coming towards the kitchen. You freeze, a pancake in your hand, and looking at the door like you were a deer in front of moving car, not knowing what to do. This wasn't the black haired man, you could tell because he never made any sound. You hold your breath and a second later you see both of them standing in front of you, surprise all over their faces.

 

You smile, a big smile of happiness, because in a matter of seconds you aren't alone anymore, and the ones you remember, the ones who helped you, have appeared to prove you aren't crazy and they aren't a figment of your imagination.

 

“You woke up...” Sam voice sounds dumb stating the obvious, but he seems so relieved in a way, you smile foolishly and nod. “When...?”

 

“Five days, I think. Maybe six. Things were a little blurry for a couple days... I think.” You're trying to remember when you woke up, when was when that man appeared, and then you want to ask them why they left, what had happened to you, ask them if everything was ok now.

 

“Oh, God.” Sam mutters under his breath. The initial surprise is turning into guilt after he realizes you've been alone all that time. “Did Castiel talk to you?”

 

“Who? Ohh!” You exclaim with understanding. “The dark haired guy in the trench coat? He was there when I woke up, but I didn't saw much of him after that. He told me you'd come back soon, and he didn't seem a demon, so... “ You shrug.

 

You notice Sam looking at Dean, who had seated on a chair and is pouring coffee in a mug. “You know how he's doin', he probably thought it was safer for everyone to left her alone.” He doesn't give it much thought.

 

“He could call us, Dean, tell us she was awake.” Sam moves around the table. His brother looks back at him.

 

“He's a mess and you know it, and she seems to be doing fine. I'm sure if something were wrong, he would have called.” Dean tastes the coffee and looks back at you. “Damn, this is strong.” You smile at him and drink from your own cup. “Where did you find the music?” He asks, already knowing the answer.

 

“I was looking on some rooms and...” He looks at you tilting his head and tightening his lips. “Oh... It was 'your' room.” You say in realization. “Sorry?” He's going to reply, but 'November Rain' starts playing and his body relaxes with the music. He just shrugs and pulls back on his chair closing his eyes. He seems tired, the same as Sam, who is looking at you, worried. “I'm ok.” You say to him. “I was a bit confused when I didn't found anyone here, but that friend of yours told me all was ok, so I waited.”

 

“You sure you're ok?” Sam asks. He knew they had to go on that hunting trip, and that Cas would look over you, but he couldn't imagine you were going to wake up while they weren't there, not after all that time. He already felt guilty of putting you on a coma, and now you also had to be alone for almost a week.

 

“Yeah, I'm ok. I feel better now.” You notice he winces. “I'm ok, Sam, first few days were a bit weird, but after I got a bit stronger and the dizziness stopped, I found some books and music. It's been fine, really. And I knew you'll come back, I just needed to wait.” Sam looks down, kind of sad. “What happens? Is something wrong?”

 

He wants to slap himself on the face, and say out loud what is all over his mind. That he's stupid, he put you on a coma and left you alone in this place. Right, he was on a hunt, but his brain was determined on just thinking he was getting laid in the back of the Impala, while you've been scared, alone and in a bad shape for something he did to you. He remembers telling his brother _“Man, I needed that.... I tried to give her my number.”_

 

“Hey, it's ok. I'm ok.” You say again. “And you look tired, you both look worse than me. And I was the one possessed by a demon a few days ago.” Sam's stomach ache again. You don't even know you were in a coma, he still has to tell you that. “You need to rest.” You say, trying to make him look at you. “Both of you.”

 

“Damn right.” Dean says while he stands up. “Gonna hit the sack.” He pauses for a moment and look at you. “And you don't ever go inside my room again.” You shudder a little and he notices it, he smiles and starts walking away. You hear him shout from over the next room. “If you want some music just ask me!” And you smile relieved.

 

That's the moment when you notice Sam is at last looking back at you. “I'm sorry.” He says. “You shouldn't have been alone after all that.”

“You're hunters, right? You have work to do, you do it. I understand. Hell, I'm already one of your cases. Who else would understand better than me?”

 

Words start popping into his mind again, making he confused and uncomfortable. _“You don't ever think about something? Somebody who understands the life?”_

 

“You go to bed, too.” Your words float all over him bringing him back to the present. He shakes his head. “You're too tired, and you're wound.” You insist.

 

“I'm sorry.” He says. “I should have been here.” But he's thinking another thing. He wants to tell you he fucked it up, he tried to help but ended up making it worst, but right now he doesn't dare to do it. He can only think in circles and he knows he won't be of much help unless he gets some rest and clears his mind, but he doesn't seem able to move.

 

“Don't be silly, you already cured me. Now, go to bed.”

 

“You sure you're ok?” He asks doubtfully.

 

“Yeah, I feel normal again, I think there's nothing wrong with me anymore.” You smile, you're telling the truth, although you don't feel too comfortable saying those words out loud and you don't know why. “Now it's time for me to help you.” He smiles at you, he knows you are talking about your end of the deal, but right now he's not in any condition to start thinking about that too. He stands up and head out of the kitchen.

 

“Good night!” You say, even if the clock is marking ten in the morning. He chuckles and with another 'Good night' he leaves to his room.


	8. 19 days back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You took some decisions when being alone at the bunker, and you're starting to regret them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mother tongue is not English. Sorry for: bad grammar, vocabulary problems and misspellings. I'll try to continue working on this the best I can.

Another morning, another day, but this time you wake up to the sounds of steps outside your door. It takes a moment for you to adjust, and you remember the brothers got to the bunker the day before. They spent all day sleeping, and you suppose all night too.

 

A couple days before, you moved to a vacant room, in the same corridor you found the rock CD's. Nobody was there to tell you not to do that, and that hospital like room were giving you the creeps. Now you realize you moved near Dean's room, and probably the one outside, walking up and down the corridor, was Dean.

 

“Sam!” You hear Dean yelling. “Did you do the laundry without tellin' me?”

 

“What?” Sam voice sounds sleepy and confused.

 

“The laundry! Did you do the laundry?!” Dean keeps yelling, but Sam, too sleepy to care, only replies with another “What?”.

 

At that moment you know they're both in their rooms, yelling at each other, and you mentally travel back in time, placing the rooms you searched in their absence.

  
“Great, Y/N, you had to choose a room in between theirs.” You mutter to yourself, all the yelling making you cranky. Placing a pillow over your head, trying to mute all the noise, your brain suddenly recollects a much more important thing. You jump off the bed and look yourself on a mirror. Dark pajama pants and a 'Boston' t-shirt. You remember thinking “Hey!, That's from their debut album!” And you just put it on, singing 'More than a Feeling', without giving a thought of why did you knew anything about rock, or who was the owner of those clothes.

 

“Oh, God. I stole Dean's clothes. And his music. And he was already mad at me before.” You start mumbling. You start thinking about taking it off and sneaking into his room to return everything before he finds out it was you. There were some pants, t-shirts, you have to find it all and move quick. You can put a robe on and...

 

The door opens and you freeze, the feeling of being just a deer in front of a car's headlights, takes control of your body, again.

 

“WHAT? WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY CLOTHES!?!” Dean's in shock, looking at you, his mouth moving long after he stops talking, trying to find something more to say. That's the moment Sam appears behind his brother, hair all messy and rubbing his eyes, asking “What's happening?” in a growl. “It seems Y/N ransacked my room in my absence. First my music, then my clothes.” He looks all over your room and find some grooming items. “Oh, good, at least she took your comb, mouthwash... wait, why did you take his aftershave?” Dean says looking at you, and then at Sam, both of them questioning your actions.

 

'Great, now both of them are mad at me. Two of the most intimidating men I know, in fact, the only people I know right now, are mad at me.'

 

“I can explain it.” Words start coming out of your mouth nonstop, trying to say something that will keep them from kicking you out of their place. “I... I woke up, and I had nothing to wear. I only found a robe, and many rooms were closed, but then I found those rooms, and I liked the music, and the clothes aren't too big for me, kind of, but I needed a comb, so I kept checking and I promise I didn't use your toothbrush, or anything personal, I found one, a brand new one, it was sealed!! and I liked how your shampoo smell, and I'm sorry, I didn't know when you'd come back, I didn't know it were yours, I didn't have anything, and your friend didn't care about me. And... OMG. I can take it off. I can fix it. Don't be mad at me.” Nervously, you move your hands to the hem of your shirt, beginning to strip in front of them, only caring about what to do so they stop hating you, when they both yell. “No!” You look at them completely confused, hands on the shirt you're wearing, exposing your stomach.

 

“We understand.” Sam says. “We'll go to buy some clothes, and any other things you need. You can keep wearing that one, one more day, after breakfast we'll go shopping. No big deal. Tell her, Dean. It's not a big deal.” Dean mumbles a “Yeah, I think 's not.” “That settles it. Now, I need some coffee. Let's have breakfast like rational beings.”

 

Sam walks away, and Dean follows him after giving you an angry look. You decide to follow them before you do anything else that will make them angry again. While Sam makes coffee and takes some pastries from a cupboard, Dean and you take a sit at the table. Dean keeps looking at you, looking at his t-shirt, how it fits you, and you can't tell if his really angry or if he really understands the situation.

 

“So, let me put this straight, now my clothes will smell like Sam thanks to Goldilocks here?” Dean asks, pointing at you.

 

“I'm sorry. I already explained it. I didn't have any clothes? I needed to change and...”

 

Dean rises his hand and you stop talking. “Are you suggesting...? Sam, is she suggesting?” Sam replies with a “Dean, stop it.” but he ignores him and asks. “Underwear?” You nod. “Oh, God. I think I need a beer.”

 

“I'll wash it all. I'll make it up to you. I was desperate. I swear.”

 

Dean shakes his head and Sam sits at the table, putting a coffee jar in front of him. “Don't mind him, Baby Bear's too cranky in the mornings.” Dean growls and Sam starts laughing. “C'mon, you have to admit it's funny. She choose your things, you're Baby Bear, like in the story.”

 

“Can I remind you she also took your things?” Dean asks.

 

“Doesn't matter.” Sam takes a sip of his coffee. “My clothes were too big, but yours were 'just right!'” Sam starts laughing, trying to dodge a bottle cap thrown by Dean, while you just wish for this day to be over.

 

An hour later you and Sam are heading to the nearest town. Dean made it clear you were forbidden to drive his car, and that comment, far from bothering you, made you wonder if you have a driver license. You really didn't remember much about yourself, and you had been trying very hard not to deal with your memory loss problem for the past few days. So you are really thankful Sam seems to be in a good mood and wants to talk to you.

 

“You don't have to be scared of Dean. He only acts that way because he doesn't want to get too involved.” Sam looks at you when you grumble “Too late for that.” and keeps talking, seeing you got embarrassed for saying it out loud. “Well, tell me, did you like the bunker?”

 

“I didn't poke around, I didn't want to step into your private stuff.” You stop talking when Sam laughs and says “I think you failed very much at that.” You blush, “I know, but I needed clothes, and...” He stares at you. “Yeah, ok, I went shopping at your closets. Happy?”

 

“No, no. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered you like some of my things. I was starting to think you had something for Dean.” Sam is as surprised by his comment as you are, but he doesn't know why, he feels really great right now, and he desperately wants to hold on that feeling.

 

“I don't know, I like better the smell of your things.” You put your hand over your mouth. Did you just say that? Sure you've spent lot of time with him when you were possessed, you felt comfortable with his presence, and sure you started to know when he was near, only by the smell of his aftershave and his shampoo. But he wasn't supposed to know about that, you wasn't supposed to tell.

 

“Are you telling me you like how I smell?” He asks playfully.

 

“Is there any way I can get out of this situation without wanting to crawl in a hole and hide until this day ends?” You ask in pain, at what he only replies with a “Too late for that.” and keeps laughing.

 

You hear him laughing, he's happy, it's the first time you see him happy, and you don't what to question why everything seem so perfect, because then you'll have to accept the situation it's too far fetched. Something between you both is working, like a piece of clockwork, it seems natural, it looks harmless, and it feels really good, so really good. You look at him, you smile at him, his eyes on the road and still smiling at his own jokes. It's at that moment when something inside you changes, it's far from being normal, but doesn't feel weird at all, you don't even notice it this time, but you can feel it deep inside. You keep looking at him, your eyes change, they're completely black now, and you feel a new connection with him, a much stronger one.


End file.
